"Some people like to catch fish without a pole."
"How's that a problem?"
"I'm a Pole.
* * *
"Do you come from a large family?"
"No, they're all on a diet."
* * *
"I wanted to grow up to be a good kid. Now they are redefining good."
"Were you a good kid?"
"That all depends on what you mean by good."
* * *
"How does one come to terms with the seriousness of life?"
"Ask your shadow, maybe it has a lighter view of life."
* * *
"What's your wife doing?"
"She's out buying cat food."
"You should give her more money each week. She really deserves to eat better than that."
* * *
"Our church serves weekend coffee?"
"Why weakened coffee?"
"What else do you expect on Sunday?"
* * *
"Do you have enough leg room?"
"Not really, I wish I was taller."
* * *
"Do you have the time?"
"Yes, I do."
"Can I have the sixties back?"
* * *
"God, why don't you answer my prayers?"
"Because every time I do you stop praying!"
* * *
"I don't want you to waste your opinions."
"I like wasting opinions, it makes me feel extravagant."
* * *
"Do you think that I am overenthusiastic?"
"Only over and over and over and over."
* * *
"Ummm, the day sure smells good all of a sudden."
"What do you think? Is it the fresh air or the smell of freshly brewed coffee?
