A relationship is nothing more than a bargaining chip where you both agree to negotiate. There are men out there who have lost their chips, so to speak. They can't go outside without reporting back to their female companion. I have a friend who couldn't go two blocks without stopping at a pay phone and calling his wofem.* Now with the easy access to portable phones his condition has worsened. He can't go to the bathroom outside his house without calling her and getting instructions.

"Hi, sweetheart. Where am I now? I'm in a bathroom? Yes, it's a man's bathroom. What do I want? I don't know what to do. You want me to find a stall to pee in. OK, I found one. Now what do I do? You want me to find a zipper in my pants. The front or back? The front. OK, I got it. Now what? You want me to pull the zipper. Up or down? Down. That makes a lot of sense. OK, it's done, now what do I do? You want me to take it out. Take what our? Oh, yeah, I got it. It's out now. What do I do next? You want me to point it, not at my feet but at the stall. OK, I did it, now what. You want me to let go and let it happen. OK, alright, it's happening. It stopped, now what do I do? You want me to put it back in my pants and zip the zipper up and when I'm finished with that, you want me to come home. OK, that sounds easy. See you soon."

He's a friend and a friend you put up with. It could be worse, it could be me acting like that.

*Wofem