Are you the type who likes to sit in a corner during parties? Do you like people to ignore you? If the shoe fits then eat WA-HOO Dull cereal. Guaranteed to make you or keep you dull as long as you eat it. Parents this is the ideal replacement for retalin. Dull kids don't think, don't move, don't do anything. Keep them in line by keeping them dull. Imagine puberty and teenage years without any problems from your kids. WA-HOO Dull, the magic answer.

If you don't like being dull and prefer to be with the in group during parties, standing in the middle of the room talking about dull people, then WA-HOO Normal is your cereal. It has the taste of suburbia, your own home, two car garage and dreams of beating the tax laws with every meal.

However, if Dull and Normal is not your scene and neurotic behavior is your thing than WA-HOO Neurotic is your cereal. I eat this stuff myself and I tell you, IT WORKS! Whatever you do, don't mix them together or you will turn Weird!

WA-HOO, the first adult cereal! That's right, adult cereal. Darn kids have no respect for WA-HOO. Just because the cereal is round and firm doesn't mean you can use it as a substitute for marbles.

What kind of vitamins do we put in WA-HOO? We don't put in any vitamins. What we put in is Minerals. WA-HOO has more minerals in it than dirt. So if you're tired of eating dirt switch to WA-HOO cereal.

Will WA-HOO stay firm and crunchy in milk? Yes it does, but it doesn't make any difference because WA-HOO isn't for biting, chewing or gumming. WA-HOO has been specially made for swallowing. In fact, if you can swallow this, you can swallow anything.

On the side of every package of WA-HOO, done in such a way that the information seems trite, is a warning from the Surgeon General. 'WA-HOO cereal has shown to have undesirable side effects in mice.'

I have with me a man whose name is as common and well known as Smith and Jones. "Can you tell us your name?"

"I'm a prospector."

"Mr. Prospector, can you tell us your experiences with mice and WA-HOO cereal?"

"Times being what they are for gold miners like myself, it's awfully expensive to buy a mule or horse for a companion and helper to carry provisions to gold diggin sites."

"Mr. Prospector, we want to now about your mouse and WA-HOO cereal."

"I ran out of food and money. The only thing I had left to eat was WA-HOO cereal and the only companion I had was this tiny white mouse. I started feeding that tiny critter WA-HOO cereal and I noticed that every time I gave it WA-HOO IT WOULD GROW SOME. The more I fed it the bigger the mouse grew! Pretty soon I didn't need a horse."

"Mr. Prospector, we've noticed that you always go around wearing a mask. It's not because you're ashamed of eating WA-HOO cereal?"

"Heck no! Why I'm proud to be eating WA-HOO. It's that mouse of mine. I just can't get it used to eating grass. Every once in a while it jumps the fence and escapes. Human nature being what it is, some folks get mighty irate when they wake up in the morning, find their house chewed all to hell and all the cheese gone."

"And Mr. Prospector, you have found the effects of feeding WA-HOO cereal to your mouse to be…?"

"Favorable and desirable."

"That's right folks. Favorable! And Desirable! Not like that trite little message on the side of the box."

If you save ten thousand box tops of WA-HOO cereal, we have a dream vacation for YOU! All paid by WA-HOO to any Hobo Junction of your choice. A free trip wherever hobos congregate. There you will stand in front of a steel barrel with a fire going on inside of it and as the fire burns you will have the opportunity to throw in all of your box tops, all ten thousand of them, one at a time, while you rub shoulders with the down and out of society.

A dream vacation that could have been though up only by WA-HOO cereal, where our motto is, 'You are what you're willing to swallow!'