Page  1    2 Love Pavlov Proposals Salesmanship Sanity Day Shoes Star Trek Wahoo Wizard Women	STAR TREK (How it all began) Capt'n Star log, date uncertain. The rumblings have started. There is a sense of wind moving, like deep gasps. There is also a feeling that all of us are going to be shot forward into unexplored territory. Spack Capt'n, the heat is reaching maximum body overdrive. I suggest we prepare for being launched. Before the Capt'n can respond, the whole body shakes with release and all the hopeful travelers are thrust forward to the place where we all must start. Capt'n Where are we, Checkup? Checkup Ve are inside the fallopian tube, Capt'n. Owhora Capt'n, it's Star Fleet calling. They say you have just three days to reach the egg before life-support system stop functioning! Capt'n Checkup, map out a course for us and proceed, full speed ahead. Checkup I can't, Capt'n! The monitor reads zero power. Capt'n Engineering! Skutty Skutty here! Capt'n Skutty, give me warp speed! Skutty Warp Speed! Where do you think you are, in outer space? We've got no power, Capt'n. If you want to make it to the egg, you're going to have to swim for it. Spack There are precisely two million, eight hundred forty-six thousand and ninety-four sperms ahead of you, Capt'n. If you are to have any hope of getting to the egg, I would suggest you take Mr. Skutt's advice and start swimming. Capt'n Don't rush me, Spot. Spack I'm sorry to correct you, Capt'n, but my name is not Spot. Capt'n Don't get so technical with me, Mr.! You know that every time I get emotional all I see is Spots. -- Skutty! How long before you can restore power? Skutty I don't know, Capt'n, but I suspect at least four days! The Capt'n presses the button for sick bay. Duck Sick bay here! Capt'n Duck! Can you do something to the egg, to give me an extra day? Duck I've checked that baby from top to bottom and I can't do a thing that will work. That egg is hot to trot and will grab the first sperm that gets near it. Capt'n Mac Goy! Mac Goy! Where's a gynecologist when you really need one? Duck I can work miracles is that's what the script call for, but I can't change the laws of nature. Spack Capt'n, you've been sitting in your chair for the past two days. Have you come to some kind of a decision? Capt'n Skutty! Skutty Skutty here! Capt'n What's the status on the power? Skutty I'm doing the best I can! I don't know what else I can do! Capt'n You can say something different once in a while. Skutty At least I get to say some lines. Poor Zulu, all the script writers ever let him do is smile. Spack Capt'n, I'm not sure I understand your hesitation. Capt'n It's the pressure of the unknown! Living constantly under the threat of masturbation, never knowing if you will get a chance to become somebody or get flushed down the toilet. Now I have to outswim millions of sperms who have a two-day start on me. I don't know if I can do it. Spack Gym! If you don't get born, I will never be able to call you Friend. Capt'n Or direct pictures. Spack Very perceptive of you, Capt'n. Obviously there is more at stake than your personal inconvenience. I suggest you get you but out there and start swimming. Skutty Capt'n, the engines are coming on by themselves! Capt'n Where's the power coming from? Spack My sensor indicate energy produced by a cult following. There seems to be intelligence behind it. Capt'n Skutty! Use that cult energy and beam me to that egg! Skutty Will do Capt'n! Will do!