As I was attempting to leave the apartment, my girlfriend asked, "Aren't you going to do the dishes?"

"I'll do them tomorrow when I get back from work." I replied.

"But I can't stand to look at the dishes in the sink!" she wailed.

Besides complaining about dishes, my girlfriend doesn't like the way I throw the towels on the shower curtain rod. She wants the towels hanging even on both sides of the curtain rod, straightened out tight so they dry evenly.

I pointed out to her that men are artists by nature when it comes to their clothes or towels. The towel should be used to dry the wet body and afterwards thrown into the air to land as it might, but never in the same place or in the same position as before.

A woman on the other hand will take a towel after using it and put it in the same place, in the same way, day in and day out. They seem to enjoy repetition that drives men crazy.

She also complains about the cups, dishes, bags and clothes I leave all over the apartment. But does she ever notice it's never left or dropped in the same way or place twice? No! The irregularities drive her nuts, but that's the nature of art, to always find a new way.

She takes time from her busy schedule to point out my underwear, which she usually finds lying in the corner of a room. But I have to mark my territory somehow. I can't just urinate into every corner to let other males know this is my area of domain. Doesn't she realize we men have evolved past such crude methods? Yet the territorial instinct remains and at times we men have to allow it some level of expression.

What ever happened to the old-fashioned type of woman? When I asked my girlfriend to iron some things for me, she became irrational. "What do you mean, iron your clothes!" she actually screamed. "Ironing is boring work. Besides, you're the one who wears them, you iron them." What she said must have been important to her because my ear drums kept hurting for a long time after she finished talking.

Women keep asking why men don't want to get married anymore. There was a time when a man would get down on his hands and knees and beg a woman to marry him. He did this because once they were married; the woman would cook for him, wash the dishes, clean the house and do his laundry. She would uplift his ego by agreeing with everything he said. She would give birth to and raise his kids and do many other tasks too numerous to mention.

Here is the fundamental reason why men don't want to get married nowadays. Before, when a man proposed and got married, in return he got a cheap maid. Now when a man get married, all he gets is a wife.

There are a lot of things I'd like to say about all of this, but I don't have the time. I've got to cook dinner.