Now that they've created gene-spliced vegetables, they are trying to create gene spliced-people to eat them. Montel Williams, the TV talk show host, keeps saying, "If it walks like a duck, if it sounds like a duck, it has to be a duck." But with gene-splicing on the scene, "If it walks like a duck, if it sounds like a duck, it could be anything."

The idea behind Aladdin's lamp was to find a genie to solve financial and romantic needs. Genetics also claims that it will solve our economic and romantic problems.

Every time the topic of romance and genetics comes up, I am reminded of a lady friend of mine, whose greatest ambition in life is to marry her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is one of those bioengineering scientists and he is trying to crate a new species of worms that conform to human social behavior. He's already created a worm that acts and thinks like he does. The worm is also a scientist and it is trying to create a new species of human beings who will behave like worms.

The boyfriend is deadly afraid of the failure of marriage. As a result, he's trying to create a worm that acts and thinks like his girlfriend. Once he does that, he intends to put his worm and her worm into a marriage-like environment. And if his worm gets along with her worm, then the boyfriend will marry the human female. However, if his worm does not get along with her worm, then the boyfriend will forget about marriage, grab some worms and go fishing.

We really need a successful test for whether or not a relationship will work. Such a test would have saved me a heck of a lot of trouble in years gone by. Even when my inner voice said "No" to a romantic bonding, I gave the other half the benefit of the doubt. And when the relationship ended, without doubt all the benefits of the relationship vanished.

With a successful genetic test that says "No" I can say to my romantic interest, "I'd love for us two to be a one, too. My heart says 'Yes' but my worm says 'No'. I know you're upset, but our personalities were scientifically tested by genetically created worms designed to take the risks for us.

As in fables, where there are good genies and bad genies just waiting to be released, genetics - like genies in a bottle hoping to be released - make a lot of promises. With each new gene-spliced discovery our lamp of credibility and common sense is rubbed anew. Once the spliced genie is out of the lamp, it's a little bit too late to ask, "Are you a good spliced genie or a bad spliced genie?" And only time will tell how our wishes come true.